When Nothing is Working
A Story of Second Chances and Humbling Grace
Would you rather listen?
Sometimes we celebrate our victories too early.
Last week I sent out a story about fury and how hard I worked to conquer it, and how God met me in the battle.
I thought the battle was won. I had written about my victory, convinced that God had met me and the dragon was slain. But every day since, I've had little skirmishes with that same situation. Satan wanted to derail me, to keep me mired in anger and hurt. I used all my tools—shoving Satan behind me, breaking lies, confessing my own sin, breath prayers, reading the Psalms—and it worked.
Until it didn't.
After about four days, I was back in the muddle, fully immersed in fury. Nothing I was practicing was working, and it was amazing to me that I simply could not let it go.
So, on that day I reached out to a friend who is a true prayer warrior, asking him to pray. I didn't tell him the story; the issue was my heart's reaction, not the situation itself. He gave me three profound gifts.
First, he offered the gift of perspective, reminding me that Christ is coming soon and none of this will matter in the Kingdom. A month from now, it probably won’t matter here on earth, either, so why make such a big deal of it? For some reason, hearing that from him had an effect.
Second, he began a deep discussion of Shalom1, and told me I needed to pray it over myself and the other person.
And finally, he shared a powerful story of his own: a time when he was so livid about not being permitted to speak at his own father's funeral that he decided he would never be angry again. Apparently, he hasn’t been since. I’ve certainly never seen it.
So I took those gifts to heart:
I keep reminding myself that none of this will matter in the Kingdom - or next month.
I have been faithfully praying Shalom over myself and this person, and that really helps.
I have taken on the challenge to never be angry again. I will likely fall short of that standard but it’s a practice I want to adopt.
But…God wasn't finished with me yet.
That following Sunday, our pastor preached on Jonah 2, talking about her own failings and how God brought her around. I knew in my heart that God was speaking directly to me. He convicted me that I had blocked this person and removed myself from our group chats to avoid getting triggered. I needed to humble myself again, apologize again, and ask to be let back in.
Humble pie is not my favorite dessert, but I took a slice. A very BIG slice.
They kindly let me in and we are back in fellowship.
Later that afternoon, while looking for an audiobook to listen to, I stumbled across 'Kill the Spider*' by Carlos Whittaker. He talks about how we spend so much time chasing away cobwebs—the anger, the triggers, the hurt—when we need to focus on killing the spider, the root cause. For me, that spider is self-righteous judgmentalism. My fury wasn’t just about the person; it was a symptom of a deeper brokenness I needed to confront.
I've learned that one of the critical paths to a deeper union with God is often found not in conquering our foes but in confronting our own brokenness. It's a messy journey, full of stumbles and hard truths that must be faced to move forward.
And in that space, I'm learning to ask a new question: "What is Your invitation to me in this situation?" This simple question changes everything. It shifts the focus from my anger to God's purpose, from a problem to an opportunity. It is revealing that this whole ordeal isn't just about a broken relationship; it's about God inviting me to a deeper healing.
My hope is that in sharing this messy journey, you might find a little more courage for your own.
May you have grace for the messy parts of your story, and may you discover God's invitation to you, right in the midst of it all.
Go with God and be blessed.
PS I’ve learned that the most important work happens in community. If this has sparked something in you, or you’d like to have an honest conversation about your own journey, please reach out. There’s no cost, no agenda, just a space to talk and to listen. You can book a conversation with me here.
"Shalom" is much more than just a word for peace. It's a rich concept that describes a state of total well-being and completeness.
The meaning is deeply embedded in the letters themselves:
Shin (ש): The symbol for teeth, which crush and destroy. This represents the power to break things apart.
Lamed (ל): A shepherd's staff, which signifies authority and leadership.
Vav (ו): An iron nail or hook, representing the idea of being secured or bound to something.
Mem (ם): Water, which often symbolizes chaos or confusion.
When you put these together, the word Shalom paints a picture of having the authority (Lamed) to destroy (Shin) the chaos (Mem) and be securely bound (Vav) in a state of peace.
Beyond this, scholars like those who wrote the Brown-Driver-Briggs lexicon agree that Shalom encompasses a wide range of positive ideas, including:
Completeness and soundness in mind and body.
Safety, welfare, and prosperity.
Quiet and tranquility, even in the midst of conflict.
Peace with God, which is the core of the new covenant, an inheritance Jesus left for us.
In short, Shalom is not just the absence of conflict but an active and powerful state of wholeness, order, and harmony that overcomes chaos.
Hi, I’m Darlene Hull—author, speaker, Spiritual Formation Coach, and Christian Life Coach with a background in Mental Health Coaching, Insight Coaching, and Spiritual Formation. I help women grow deeper in their faith and live abundant, Christ-centered lives by offering clarity and practical tools to embrace God’s purpose in every season. I’m passionate about seeing women thrive in relationships, business, and personal growth, all while keeping Christ at the center.
Discover my daily devotional: Gentle Pathways: Daily Moments with God
Find out more about Darlene here: PraiseWalker.com
Image from Freepik.com
All Biblical quotations are taken from The Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
This is so good. Thank you for your honesty.